Adulting Level Up!: I Finally Faced My Fears and Had My Implanon Removed
Well, I finally did it. I got my Implanon out and let me tell you, that was something I had been dreading since the day before I got it in. For the past several years I have tried inserting forms of contraception because I am lazy and I forget a lot of things.
It has not been worth it.
Granted I have only tried two different forms, NuvaRing and Nexplanon but the side effects and health issues I have dealt with have made me run back screaming to the forever classic “the pill.” Not that I didn’t love the forms themselves, in fact to this day Nuvaring is still my favorite regarding how I felt while on hormonal birth control but in the end I was no match for the side effects I encountered taking it.
After about a year of using NuvaRing, I started getting bladder infections. Every. Freaking. Month. For a full week out of every month, I got to deal with the pain and discomfort of a powerful UTI. My schedule would be: week 1, UTI. Week 2, recover. Week 3, feeling normal. Week 4, menstruate. Only one week out of the month I would feel well, and that sucked. My depression skyrocketed because I was miserable three-quarters of the time and it just wasn't worth it. Sure my skin looked great, and I wasn’t gaining any weight but damn, it sucked. Again, this was after about a year of actually being on NuvaRing, but these side effects made me get off it very quickly.
The Implanon was an entirely different beast. About two months after having it in I gained ten pounds overnight it seemed. Sure I was getting older, and things were slowing down but I am only in my 20s, and I just refuse to believe that everything came to a halt as fast as it did on its own. THEN the breakouts came. Hormonal acne is a painful son of a bitch. Finally the cherry on top - I actually started lactating. I hate even writing that. This is the side effect that killed any possible hope for me. It caused a round of doctors visits and pregnancy tests all which scared the shit out of me. If you’ve ever wondered how good it feels to hear “well since it isn’t x, y and z we need to start looking at the possibility of a brain tumor” I can tell you it’s not good at all.
That doctor lacked in some bedside manner, and it took me awhile to find a doctor who sorted through everything while not scaring the shit out of me but it took multiple rounds of blood tests, ultrasounds and more to finally come up with I am perfectly healthy so the only thing that makes sense is, you guessed it, my Implanon.
Now, I am not saying don’t try Implanon. Everybody is different when it comes to birth control (or anything really), and I am not trying to scare you away from something you might be interested in. I want to share with you my experiences with these inserted forms of birth control, which haven't been great, but I also tend to have a sensitive everything - I am a step below being a bubble girl.
That being said, I am a firm believer in trying something at least once because now I understand that my body just doesn’t tolerate having a foreign object in it 24/7. I have plenty of friends who have used NuvaRing and Implanon without any issues. I guess I'm just a sensitive soul and body.
What I am advocating is that if you have an issue with an inserted form of birth control, don’t be stupid like me and keep it in out of fear. I left my Implanon in for the full duration because I was so afraid of the removal process and I just didn't want to deal with it. Which honestly did suck, and my arm hurts writing this, but it isn’t painful, and since it has been out a full 24 hours later, I am already down 5 lbs and for the first time in forever or at least since I can remember, I am not bloated. In fact, I’m comfortable. But I was stupid and kept something that was causing me so many issues because of irrational fear. If you are struggling with your birth control and haven't done anything about it, I am begging you to go to the doctor. You will feel so much better once you do.